SMILE

New Look

After catching up on all my usual blog readings, I've decided I need a new look...BADLY. I know many of you have used FabulousK to update your look, but have any of you done your own. I don't want to pay someone else if I can do it myself. Any tips?

Daddy Fummy

Hampton had the hiccups the other night. Ben was mimicking him which was apparently very funny. The quality of this video is terrible because we were in a dark car, but the content is precious. I am so thankful for my boys and the joy they bring into everyday life.

Joy in Pain

After my last post, I received many emails wondering what was going on. Since this is pretty much Hampton's baby book and our family journal, I figured I would make an official post. This is not to seek your sympathy, but to help our family remember.

Last Wednesday, Ben and I went to my doctor for what was supposed to be a really exciting and joyful appointment. We had known for just over 4 weeks that we were expecting our second child in early November. We waited to go to the obgyn until I was over 8 weeks pregnant because I wanted to make sure we were able to have a good sonogram.


I have always been nervous about having a miscarriage because I know so many women who have, but at the same time I never thought it would happen to me. As we were waiting to see the doctor, I told Ben that I was nervous that they were going to tell me that I wasn't pregnant anymore. He, in his unwavering optimism reassured me that everything was going to be fine and healthy. Our conversation then turned to how we were going to tell our family and what we would name the baby if it were a boy (We think we have a girl name, but probably won't tell you if you ask :)).


As soon as the sonogram picture came on the screen, I knew that my suspicions were truth. Ben said I teared up almost immediately. My doctor explained to me where the pregnancy sack was and where the baby grows and develops. I said to him, "But, there isn't a baby there." He was quiet for a few seconds and then explained that an inevitable miscarriage had occurred probably caused by a chromosomal abnormality. He then turned off the screen and stepped out of the room. He said I was trying to put on strength and that I needed to cry because my baby deserved my tears. Those tears have flowed freely and abundantly since.


When Dr. H returned, he informed us that 15% of pregnancies result in miscarriage and that because 1 had occurred that did not mean that I was more susceptible in the future. More importantly, he encouraged us that we were not alone in this, that God was crying with us and He had not left us in our pain, but knows all too well the pain of losing a child.


We left the doctor's office desperately needing hugs from Hampton. He has been a little ray of hope and strong reminder of the joy in our lives despite the pain of our circumstance.


Thankfully, I was able to have a DandC the next day. The procedure and physical recovery was a breeze. I joked with my mom the next day that the only pain I had was where my finger was sore from the prick to test my blood. The emotional recovery is a process that we are both working through. Although we are sad and I often get teary, we are both feeling an overwhelming sense of peace. We lost our baby, but are somehow confident that Jesus is still in control and will have the best for us.


We have been surrounded with faithful family (Drew left work immediately to come to our house and Jonathan came over as soon as he could - Ash had to keep the kids, but sent goodies) and gracious friends. Caren took Hampton to playgroup on Thursday during the DandC...Stacy brought us dinner...Trisha took H to breakfast so I could sleep in on Friday (Ben had to go to Austin Friday morning)...Jamie and Caleb had Hampton over to play Friday afternoon. Many called, more offered to help and even more lifted us up in prayer.


Friday night, some of my closest friends and I went to Canton for the weekend. We planned the trip months ago not knowing how important it would be to me. I am so thankful for these girls! I love them all for many different reasons and through this trial, they have shown their love for me and my family. I wouldn't trade their friendship for anything.



Although my weekend was a great escape from the reality at home, I was very ready to be with Ben and Hampton. I needed some hugs and was excited to show them my "treasures."

This is what I came home to...

Watching "Daddy mow-een" through the fence

Playing football with Cameron (our neighbor)

Playing keep-away from Cameron

Admiring Haley's crocs

Lying on the nap mat I got him in Canton

Coloring at the desk that Emerson, Sadie and Campbell gave him

We are thankful that even in the midst of such pain we are able to find joy in Christ!

"Hold unswervingly to the hope you profess, for He who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:23

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Today I am resting in the promise that Jesus commands my destiny!